Photos from my new life in Rome!

Change of routines

Sitting here, two steps from your door, hoping you won't appear. On my
way home from a chaotic evening and I'm not in my right mind to see you.

I loathe the fact that we live in the same city. I hate that our roads
entwine. I hate that you stepped on these cobblestones proabably
minutes before I did. I wish I didn't have to walk where you walk, be
where you are, see what you see.

I'm changing cities. I need to get out from under your shadow, need to
find a place where it's all not connected to you. I need a place which
doesn't make me think of you. I'm leaving. So tired of this.

Sent via my iPhone

All I can conclude from my last attempt of meeting someone good, nice, sweet, caring and normal is...
..
..Never, I mean, never, date an architect.
When things go bad the whole city he's working in is a minefield of emotions. Just seeing one of his buildings, or one that reminds you of one he's done, makes you want to quit it all.
Paranoid perhaps, but today they were taunting me. And I felt silly.

It wasn't worth it. Those initial sweet moments that I wanted could last forever, they only make me feel even more stupid, even more silly and they make me question everything.

And now, when I try to get myself back up again he sweeps right in and shits all over what's left of me.

Mostly, I'm disappointed in myself for being so sweeped off my feet.

This one will take time to bounce back from. But I know that once I do, I'll be stronger than before.

Wild hearts..

He has updated his Facebook status for the first time since the end of November- just days before the nightmare began. Two days ago he wrote " Sono l'uomo più fortunato al mondo" which means "I'm the luckiest guy in the world". I wanted to vomit. I know he moved on and that I am just a fading bad memory he'd wish to erase. But still.

When is it enough for two people not to be friends anymore? How much does it need to hurt?

Just waiting for my latest broken heart to heal, just waiting for that day when it will stop hurting, when my heart won't skip a beat when I get a text message. I don't think I was well enough to meet someone new, and especially not ready to have my heart broken a second time.

A friend shared this song with me a couple of days ago. She said she'd thought of me.

I absolutely love it but I can't stop listening to it now.

Bracelets!

Look at these lovely stud bracelets I got the other day! Gold and silver studs and snap buttons! They come in five different colours but I had a hard time finding any as they were almost sold out already!

Only 1,95 Euro, at an H&M Kids' department near you!

Time heals all wounds?

My MacBook Pro needed service so I had to leave him away to the Apple
people. I realize how incredibly addicted I am to it, how my entired
private life is revolving around it. Shows, movies, music, social
life, blogs, inspiration..

Anyways.

My latest fling turned out to be another disappointment. Almost three
weeks without a word have passed and not a day goes by without my
wondering of his whereabouts. In a way this has been more difficult
for me to accept, especially given the fact that we live in the same
city.

I know I am blessed in the sense that I've never had to experience a
broken heart or rejection like this earlier. For being almost 29 years
old I think that is good statistics. Also, the broken heart I did
experience this December was due partially to the fact that we live in
different countries and that the guy panicked. Not a good excuse but
an explanation as good as any (although of course there's more to it
than that).

THIS on the other hand is just plain weird. I refuse to give in to the
common idea that men are idiots, for some reason it doesn't simplify
the rejection itself.

I am tired of being helped back up my feet just to fall flat on my
face again. I need to be able to get back up myself.

I am so tired I want to cry and then sleep for a whole consecutive
month. Heal heart, please heal.

What are you up to?

Sent via my iPhone