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A close friend once said to me "Your search to define who you are has become an essential part of who you are". So therefore I will not introduce myself, not being quite sure yet. If you are reading this you are probably close to me and know me well already.


Lindex leather jacket and finding my way back home

My friends never succeeded in finding that jacket in my size, only large sizes left. Too bad, it is so nice! I'm guessing the fashion bloggers are to blame, if one of them hypes an item it will be sold out in no time. And me, not too active in that area, trying to find my own golden items, gets totally left without! Well, sorry for not being such an active reader of Swedish teen-bop fashion blogs!! Argh. Really just disappointed, it looks so nice and was so cheap!

While they've been running about town doing my dirty errands (I wish, it wasn't really like that at all..) I've been lying on the couch sweating, freezing, sipping soup and tea and fantisizing of junk food to eat. Still ill and getting quite bored of it. Did some cleaning up today, so I can at least feel yukky in a clean apartment. It made me feel a little better actually.

Perhaps I should take a photo or two to show my dear readers (if there are any still out there) what my apartment looks like? Would that be fun?

Hmm. Anyway, getting more and more childishly pleased with my new MacBook Pro! I have gotten MacJournal Trial, ViJournal Lite and MiLife (shareware) and I am trying to compare them. So far, I am not at all impressed with.. ViJournal at all. Boring interface and no real functions. When I tried pasting a photo it filled up the whole screen and there was no way of adjusting the size. Things like that would bug me if I depended my daily life on it.

See, I figured I need to get back on track again, re-figuring out who I am. Not that I feel lost or anything, I just lost a little bit of track recently. A little bit of direction, motivation, purpose. Perhaps it has some to do with the fact that two close friends have been a little down recently. Of course it affects me and the questions they pose themselves, their doubts and worries sometimes gets to me too. Not that I feel attacked, no, more that I start pondering myself. Also, posing the question why I seem to have my act together and not get sad. What do I do to get by? Do I get by? Really? And there we go. It's not anything major, I am still happy, calm and I have no issues (other than being ill and hating it). I have things to look forward to the coming month, I have a great loving family, wonderful friends, a job I love coming to every morning, a home I love returning to every evening..! Is the loneliness bugging me? Yes, sometimes. More and more recently. But I'll live through that too, like the past three autumns of being single in Sweden. As well as the saying goes "not alone but lonely" it can also be twisted. Like, "I'm alone but I don't feel lonely". Like alone itself would necessarily be a bad thing. I don't know. I don't know if I'm fighting it or if I make sense. Either or, I have some thinking to do.

Anyway. Will write a little, probably in MacJournal, and then go to bed. Quite tired but head is spinning (not only because of the above) as my friend told me that she ran into my ex at an event Thursday evening. But THAT, I don't feel like talking about.

Also found my long lost W.B Yeats book. I love his poems. Love them. Yes, that is something I will do to re-trace my steps to my path. And read Allen Ginsberg again. Yes.

Good night!


Being ill


I am really really ill! Lying in bed, all covered up, primped up with pillows behind my back... Sweet neighbour friend just came by with a box of Big Pack 3-flavour icecream (yup, childhood memories). I've got tonsillitis, in Swedish referred to as halsfluss. It's really killling me. I can't swallow anything more solid than liquid, crap, even that is hard. I sould like a tortured smurf when I speak..

I would feel sorry for a boyfriend to live with me but yet I wish nothing more right now. Someone to gently stroke my head when I lie in the couch with a fever, someone to make me tea or simply just someone to put a blanket on me when I get the chills from the fever- and then of course- to take it off when I start sweating like a little pig..!

So. Luckily I have McBook Pro to keep me company. I must say he's good at it. I have so far watched three episodes of "Hung" and installed iWorks. I still have to figure out why my Transmission is killing my Firefox, but I'll get there.

I have been surfing around a little, looking for a fake leather jacket. It started off when I saw this gorgeous little MC-jacket in Lindex's shop window. Of course it's all sold out over town, and online too, but I have two friends looking for it in the suburbs this weekend. Then I started surfing around looking at other sites that might have something similar. And now I can't stop!

I have all the time on my hands, I loaded bank account and noone to tell me no. Dangerous!

This is the only thing I've found so far:

I'm just getting started..!

Nope, will go and get a glass of water, drink it through agonizing pain and then perhaps sleep for a little. That icecream just about killed me.



1st MacBook note

So.. Here I am, tapping away in the dark like a vampire on my new, shiny MacBook Pro! I cannot believe it myself, I'm so happy!

Getting used to it really and truly takes its time, especially since I want to get to know it (him/her.. err) properly. I'm not saying it's easy, and it's not because I'm a PC-user by default, it's just hard that's all.

Could give you thousands of examples already, little quirkiness from both our sides I assume, but I'm so tired I'm almost fainting. It's 1.42 at night, I need to get up and go to work within 5 hrs and I'm just waiting for this little thing to get fully recharged. What I can't understand is how it 15 mins ago read 7 mins until ready and now reads 12 mins.

Aaah, now the green light went off on the chord! Off to bed like a lightning bolt!

Will explore away these coming days, if you can bear with me!



A new buddy

Hi all,

feeling like the worst blogger on the planet. And, yes, I am the worst blogger ever!!

I haven't forgotten about you, life just got in the way. And no, still no love life, just a busy life with work, friends, laughter, fashion, food, events.. Ya know.

Blogging quickly before I'm off to bed.

I feel like such a cheater for writing this, on my old friend Fred, but Wednesday evening a new member of my tiny family will see the light of day!

A smashing MacBook Pro! I am so happy, I've wanted this for so long. Fred is still a great companion, although a little old and rusty. So I'll let him live his last days as a retired old man at my parents' house. He'll do good there, he'll assist my Mun when she's typing out all her english-class homework.

I'll really miss him, his loud buzzing, his boiling temperature.. What I probably will miss (seriously) is his crystal clear 15-inch screen. New MacBook is a small 13-inch one, but I think I'll manage.

So, Fred, ol' buddy.
I've had some of my best times with you. You've been good to me, I chose you wisely but all things must end.

MacBook, I welcome you.
Next post I'll make will hopefully be from an Apple.
God knows how I'll make it but I'll give it a go.

Fred, ol' sidekick

MacBook, new buddy