Butterflies

I think I can feel them. Or, I can feel them. I just try not to acknowledge their presence, I am so scared I will let go and be all vulnerable again.

I did learn alot from my broken heart experience. I learned that life is too short not to enjoy every word, every look, every smile shared together with someone special. I learned to open up to new experiences and new feelings. This "grown-up-love" is a new feeling to me, I still want the still chaos but I also want something to build on. I learned to put alot of personal crap aside to be with someone although it never worked out. I learned that sad songs mend a broken heart. I learned that with time, all sadness passes. And I think I'm ready now. I think I took whatever positive lessons from this and I can cherish them and use them in my life. I learned that not only will wonderful people enter your life if you let them, but you will also be seen in a different light, be appreciated for something no one else has not yet seen in you. I learned that there is not only one type of person for you. That there is not just one way to walk.

And even though this might not turn out to be anything durable I will always appreciate also this experience. Meeting someone new and realizing small flaws only add to the perfection of that person.

He sees me and I hope he will continue to want to see me, for who I am and for who I can be. The one person I really miss right now, the one person I hope I will go to bed with for many nights to come in my life.

Will keep you posted. For now, this is all I dare to say. And it's already a whole lot..!

Back on my feet

Getting back to life again. I cannot believe only a month has passed
since I was in Florence and got my heart broken into a million little
pieces.

A new year, a new decade, might have been exactly what I needed to put
it all back into place.

One quick try with a certain "restaurant hip hopper" did make me lose
direction briefly. Out of many things it made me realize that his
presence only made me feel more lonely. So I ended it then and there.
Didn't want him wasting his time, I couldn't feel a thing.

But now, perhaps I've met a person who actually has made me make the
past a past, with him I feel new again. Who knows, maybe he'll turn
out to be nothing more than a wonderful rebound, but so be it!

On my way home now, left work early since I feel a fever coming on. I
had a dinner date planned (with this certain person) but I just heard
from him, he's also coming down with something so perhaps we'll be ill
together, just watch a movie or so.

Fingers crossed I'll feel better after a couple of hours of sleep! I
really want to see him!

Sent via my iPhone